I am tired as f**k, and that's ok.
Finally found my way to being able to name that to myself and the world.
*relief*
Corona, lockdown, a climate of fear and uncertainty, lack of control, decision fatigue, blurred boundaries between home and work (do I work at home, or do I live at work?), not getting social needs met, Zoom fatigue .... bla bla bla. It takes a toll.
So yeah, I'm a bit drained at the minute. And I found it very refreshing to be in an online sharing group this afternoon with a bunch of strangers from around the world, all saying the same thing.
It made me feel less of - dare I say it - a failure? - for being tired. It made me realise I've been holding back sharing the fact I'm tired as if it's something to be ashamed about.
If we're in the helping professions maybe there's a vulnerability in sharing our tiredness lest we create doubt that we are capable of doing our jobs. Let me say that less veiled and more owned lol: there's a vulnerability in me sharing my tiredness, lest I create doubt that I'm capable of doing my job.
So yeah. I tend to say what's on my mind or heart openly and rawly, in the hope it may resonate with anyone who needs to hear it.
But it did take me a while to notice I've been holding my tiredness back from 'public view' as it were. But now I've noticed that holding back, now that unconscious layer of facade is conscious - here I am, sharing it.
Because I believe it's healthy to be able to name these things and to be human with each other, and to not collude in creating artificial invincible social media persona's, standards and expectations.
And now I'm admitting it more to myself, I can take more practical and self-compassionate steps to support myself. And therefore continue to effectively support my clients over the long term - in healthy and sustainable ways.
And on that note - it's Friday! Woo! I'm going to go and chill and enjoy some R&R.
I hope you're finding your way to whatever self-care and support feels right for you.
Lots of love x
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