Loving myself is not a static thing.
As in " I love myself" .... job done.
I am always evolving and deepening.
And sometimes I deepen into previously hidden shadow aspects in me that on the face of it - don't seem that 'loveable' to me, or acceptable by 'societal norms' (as I imagine them to be).
Then I flounder for a moment, before reminding myself it's not the world's job to love and accept me - it's mine.
And so I expand my heart ...
Until I can wrap the arms of love, compassion and acceptance around this newly discovered part of me.
* * * *
Sometimes I wonder how I can be so light and so dark at the same time ...
... how I can have such a big heart that stretches from the sweetest lightest pink sparkle down to the deepest darkest subterranean red ...
This is why.
I explore my shadow - I expand - and I grow my heart to love what I find.
I grow into the darkness and then further into love and light because of that.
I guess if one values growth, learning and self exploration - one isn't always going to grow 'upwards' to sweetness, positivity and light - even if that's the intention.
Afterall, that's not all we're made of, most of us.
And perhaps even if we do aim for and 'gain' some positive growth, that movement may also stir something (unexpected) in our shadow.
And some of the hardest things to love about ourselves are hidden in the shadow, away from the judgements of other people, and even ourselves.
But sometimes they are the missing pieces of us that make us feel more whole ... and though it's often hard to see at first ... they come bearing gifts, character strengths that can add to our unique genius and expression in the world.
My work as a human and as a life coach isn't all about sweetness and light and mindless positivity.
Thank fuck!
It's about living and loving all of me ...
... warts and all
And accepting my fellow humans and clients, whoever, whereever they may be
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